She offers language when negotiating with a new husband or wife, which include, “By the way, I’m not at ease with” — choking, or other escalating behaviors including identify-contacting, spitting and genital slapping — “so make sure you don’t get it done/don’t inquire me to get it done to you.” https://pub-863a5f1e989b4119994146e4b24a4f29.r2.dev/index.html